please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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