my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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