Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
