The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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