Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
