how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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