She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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