i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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