don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
