I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have aggressive nipples.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
