you would pick up someone in the library
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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