Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
