are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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