Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
