I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My penis needs a shock collar
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
