Screwed.edu
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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