I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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