I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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