Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
