there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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