69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize