So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
