She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
