@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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