PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
