Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
