He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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