making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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