...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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