I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
