Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
