i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
