so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
