afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
