felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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