he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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