I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
