so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
