I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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