I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
