At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
