Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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