belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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