Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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