wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
