please come you make the beer taste better
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
