whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
