i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
