some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
