Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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